Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Enough

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Well here we are.

Just a few more days and Jared will have his 18th birthday.  And by a few, I mean 4 more days from now.  So not very many at all.

I can't believe we are here.

Early on, when Jared was first diagnosed with autism, I felt like we had so much time before he was an adult.
But man, did that time fly by,
and here we are.

I have dreaded this day for as long as I can remember.

There is something about saying, well he is still a ...
toddler...
child...
teen...
But now we are a few days away from saying he is an adult.

So many things scare me about that!

It means school services will end in the not so distant future.
It means the social circle that Jared has built in high school, will go off to college and off to find their own place in the world...while Jared will still be with his family here in his hometown, still needing support day in and day out.
It means that we will be in the adult services systems that are even more complicated to more involved than any system we have been involved with so far.

It also reminds me that I am getting older, and like it or not, I will not always be around to make sure Jared is safe and okay.  Not something I like to think about, but something that I MUST think about and always plan for.

I have dreaded this day and it is almost here.

Actually, I will be glad when Sunday comes and goes, and maybe I will not think about these things as much as I do today.

All of this weighs heavy on my mind if I let it....
and yet seeing my sweet boy, reminds me that no matter what ... everything will be okay.

The beauty of autism in this situation is that Jared doesn't have any real expectations of his 18th birthday.
Monday will come and he will not even care that he turned 18 on Sunday.
It will be another day.
Another chance to live life.
Another chance to be content with everything.
And he will be happy because he gets to go to football practice that afternoon and see his "football friends." 

He constantly is reminding me by how he approaches life, to not worry about things, and to enjoy the day for what the day is!

We have asked him multiple times over the past month, what he wants for his birthday.
The answer is always the same "I have enough."
"I have enough, mom."
"I have enough, dad."

"I have enough."

Happy Birthday sweet boy!
You continually show me how to live!
I love you always!
And because of you, your brother and sister and your dad..... 
"I have enough too!"