Those early days were tough.
Having two young children that are 18 months apart is not easy for anyone.
Add autism into that mix and life gets real interesting...
(You can read more about those early days and Jared's diagnosis starting with this blog post, and then clicking newer post on the bottom left of the screen to continue.)
With the diagnosis of autism... we had to let go of many of our original dreams for Jared.
Dreams like...
college,
playing sports,
driving,
school dances,
and so many others.
And we have grieved all along the way.
Troy and I eventually began to dream new dreams for Jared.
These dreams were centered around:
safety,
employment,
independence,
meaningful relationships,
and community.
And we shared these dreams with others so that they could dream with us.
One of those dreams we began talking about when Jared was about 5 involved employment.
Even then, I knew that MANY adults with autism are under-employed or unemployed.
(Over the years I have come to really know the harsh reality of individuals with disabilities and employment.)
So from age 5 on, we began narrowing down our efforts, the therapists' efforts and the schools' efforts to do all we could do collectively to prepare Jared for meaningful, competitive employment after high school. Those who know Jared know that his autism creates great difficulties for him in the areas of social skills, communication skills and anxiety -- large scale difficulties.
So since age 5...
very strategic planning...
very strategic efforts...
and always asking the question "will this (activity, skill, lesson, etc.) help prepare Jared for meaningful employment?"
And we ALL worked toward finding opportunities where Jared could have hands-on experiences that would one day lead to possible employment.
There has been an entire village of INCREDIBLE people involved in this dream:
teachers,
instructional assistants,
coaches,
athletic directors,
students,
attendants,
therapists,
family,
friends,
community,
agencies,
and Jared.
Something amazing (and in my eyes miraculous) has happened very recently in Jared's life because of the opportunities and experiences that a village of people have helped provide for him.
Jared has developed a love for football and basketball.
He has learned these sports.
He has teams he follows and watches their games on TV or in person.
He will tell you his 5 teams - in this order -are: Cosby, Virginia Tech, NC State, VCU and now recently added University of Richmond because that was Coach Mutascio's team.
He knows the schedules of all 5 of his teams.
He knows who each team beat last year and who each team lost to.
And he knows the city and state that all teams in those conferences are from and the name of their mascot.
And he will tell you all of that info if you open up the conversation.
All of this has led to Jared taking ownership of this employment dream that Troy and I have for him. Jared has decided that not only does he want a job but that he wants a job that is in the sports world.
He is very clear about that with anyone who asks.
In April of this year, we started working with several agencies/services for individuals with disabilities - DARS (Department of Aging and Rehabilitative Services), The Choice Group, and his DD Waiver services. We began actively looking for and applying for part-time jobs.
I knew it was going to be hard - but I didn't know how hard.
Over and over -
doors were shut,
calls were not returned,
job offers were rescinded when people met Jared or found out he would have a job support person with him on the job.
Over and over the answer was no.
We continued to hold to our dream - but reality was saying that this dream may be way harder to reach than I had ever imagined.
In late July, Jared began once again helping as a manager for the Cosby Football team.
A couple of weeks ago, the weather was not so good and the football team went into the weight room to work out for a while before practicing on the field.
Jared joined the team in the weight room and watched as they lifted, did some cardio, and exercised.
The very next day, which I don't think was a coincidence, his job support person called and said she knew about a job opening at Gold's Gym Westchester that she thought Jared should apply for.
I drove Jared over to Gold's Gym that Thursday.
He went into Gold's Gym with his job support person while I waited outside.
They both came back out a little later and let me know that Jared got the job!
Jared told me it was like the weight room at Cosby - but it was bigger! He liked it!
He had found a job that in his mind equates to working in the sports world because it was something he saw the Cosby football players doing just a few days earlier!
On Monday, August 21st, Jared began his work at Gold's Gym located in Westchester Commons.
He is there each Monday through Friday from 8am to 11am.
He spends time vacuuming, cleaning equipment, wiping down lockers, removing trash, etc.
The staff at this Gold's Gym location has been fabulous and very welcoming of Jared.
They have shared with me how glad they are to have Jared working with them.
Everything fell into place with this very quickly and it is still hard to believe really.
But I am so thankful.
I am thankful for everyone who helped us get to this place.
I am thankful for teachers and instructional assistants who worked alongside Jared every step of this journey teaching him so much.
I am thankful for a rainy day that put the football team in the Cosby weight room.
I am thankful for the Cosby coaches and staff who helped instill a love of sports in Jared and were always open to possibilities.
I am thankful for the staff at Gold's Gym Westchester who saw ability and not disability.
I am thankful for the job support offered through The Choice Group and Jared's DD Waiver.
I am thankful for dreams and I am thankful for constant effort.
We have our fingers crossed tightly and continue to pray that all will work out.
I know that autism can always make even the best things difficult.
I know that any situation, where autism is involved, can quickly change.
I find myself being cautiously optimistic - but more cautious than optimistic - as it seems to good to be true.
But even if this takes a wrong turn - we made it this far.
And we will continue taking steps forward.
So today -
as we celebrate Jared's 19th birthday,
we will also celebrate the fact that a long time dream has come into focus.
Happy Birthday sweet Jared!
Keep dreaming sweet boy!
"Dream big, work hard and surround yourself with good people."
