Making a choice

My attitude affects my actions.  My actions affect my attitude.


How we look at things affects how we act / react - even if we don't realize that.
The way act / react in situation affects my attitude with similar situations in the future.

This is so true when it comes to my son and his autism.

I am VERY aware of the things that Jared struggles with.

His social issues are evident.
His communication issues are evident.
His ritualistic routines are evident.

I can easily find myself in a place where that is my focus.
A place where I look at my son, and my thoughts are about all the struggles and difficulties his autism presents.

And when I land there, that affects my actions ---

I do too much for him
or said in another way -

I don't allow Jared to do things he could do for himself

I speak for him
or said in another way -

I don't allow Jared the opportunity to communicate

I choose for our family to not do certain things
or said in another way -

I don't give Jared the chance to expand his community and his coping skills

I choose not to risk it

or said in another way -

I assume he will fail.

I do these things to protect him...
or to prevent meltdowns...
or to make it easier...

However, I have to remind myself, that when I do this,
I am also communicating to him and others around him that
"he can't" or "isn't able".

So today I remind myself to ASSUME THE BEST.
- Assume that he can participate in and contribute to everyday life
- Assume that he can be successful
And let my actions show my thoughts.

But also ASSUME THE BEST in others.
- Assume that they will have good hearts and be welcoming
- Assume they will accept Jared for who he is
And let my actions show my thoughts.

I know... I know the adage about what happens when we assume things...  but I need to believe that maybe that will not apply here.
I have to try and believe that there is good in the world.
I have to try and believe that even when things don't work out like I wished they would, even when things fail, even when we get hurt.... that tomorrow is another day.

I also know it is very easy to land in the place of "just being realistic".
But I land there way too often.

For today, I am going to work on my own self.
Work on my attitude about my son and about my attitude about others and their interactions with my son.
For at least today, I am going to make the CHOICE to assume the best.

"The ultimate barrier facing children and adults is not disability, but others' attitudes, low expectation, and more - assuming the worst.  We have to power to eliminate that barrier; we can make the choice to assume the best." Kathie Snow